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***
Welcome to the freespermdonors group. This is a group for people seeking a
private sperm donor, or for men offering to donate. No messages offering or
requesting payment will be allowed, unless it is for expenses incurred
(including medical tests and travel). This message will be sent to the group
every month.
*** To reduce the number of messages you receive, either follow the instructions
at the bottom of any email from the group, or change your settings here:
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AI and NI
"AI" means "artificial insemination", which can take place in a clinic,
but in this group usually means the woman inseminating herself at home
with a plastic syringe.
"NI" means "natural insemination" or s-x.
Most recipients on this group are interested in AI only - *not* s-x.
There are more fertility-related acronyms in the Files section of the group.
LADIES: If you are planning to get pregnant, you should start taking folic
acid *before* you have any inseminations. If you only want artificial
insemination (AI), then say so when you post, otherwise most replies will be
from men wanting sex. "Natural" donors are allowed on this group, but my
strong recommendation to all parties is to use AI only to avoid legal,
medical, and emotional complications. I know of no evidence that sex is more
effective than AI with fresh sperm.
Whether you are planning to use AI or NI, you should insist on evidence of
recent STI tests. If you are using AI, you should be prepared to cover the
costs of these. If you are using NI, the donor would normally pay for his own
testing, but you should also be tested yourself.
If you are over 35, you may wish to have a fertility test:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=female+fertility+test
(the blood tests are a lot more useful than the urine tests)
GENTLEMEN: if you only want to donate by having sex, then say so when you
post, but be aware that most women only want artificial insemination. If you
are a "natural"-only donor, then please do NOT contact any women who have
requested AI. If you do so, you will be removed from the group. If you will
only donate for couples or only for heterosexuals, or only for lesbians, then
say so when you post. Be prepared to undergo tests for all STI's as well as a
semen analysis test to check your sperm count, motility and morphology. Donors
should also take folic acid.
Donors are invited to add themselves to the donor database here :
http://knowndonorregistry.com
Donors are welcome to post to the group announcing their availability, but
please limit such posts to once per month, otherwise the group would be
overrun with messages from donors.
If you want to be a clinic donor, see:
http://www.spermcenter.com/formen.htm (US)
http://www.gayspermbank.com/ (California)
http://guide.hfea.gov.uk/ (UK)
http://www.ngdt.co.uk/ (UK)
If you are a male/female couple seeking a sperm donor, then the husband or
male partner may be interested in these links:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/di_dads
(this group is not for donors, but rather for the men who are actually raising
or have raised or are thinking of raising children conceived by DI.)
http://www.donor-conception-network.org/formen1.htm
http://www.donor-conception-network.org/letters2.htm
http://di-dad.blogspot.com/
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/nov/26/my-real-dad-steven-gauge-adopted
http://www.redbookmag.com/kids-family/advice/sperm-donor-dad
EVERYONE: If you post seeking a donor or offering to be one, please give your
country and state/province/territory/county or nearest large town or city,
preferably in the subject line. This is a worldwide group, and I will ask
anyone posting a message that is too vague to resubmit it.
You don't have to reply to everyone that responds to a message, but if you
exchange several emails with someone, please don't end contact abruptly.
If you decide not to use a donor or not to donate for someone for whatever
reason, please let them know. This is particularly important if there have
already been any inseminations.
There is a DONOR DATABASE here:
http://knowndonorregistry.com
Donors can add themselves, and recipients can search for a donor.
Many donors on the group are not listed on the database though, so it's also
worth doing a search of the group messages using the Yahoo text search feature.
I would also recommend posting a message saying a little about yourselves,
and what you're looking for.
When meeting anyone for the first time that you only know over the internet,
meet in a public place, and take a friend with you. The FreeSpermDonors group
is a way for donors and recipients to connect, and can not be held responsible
for anything that happens after that.
Don't go ahead without a contract and a clear understanding between all
parties of what happens post-conception. Don't assume that good intentions
will be enough. There are frequent misunderstandings between donors and
recipients about how much contact there will be. This can range from having
no contact but traceable, to co-parenting. Many donors have "distant uncle"
or "close uncle" relationships, but it is important that donors and recipients
are expecting the same thing and have agreed in writing.
The main reason I run this group is because I believe that
donor-conceived people have a basic right to know who their genetic father
is, so I always advise against totally anonymous donation.
For information on how to perform home insemination see this link:
http://www.marketingalc.com/ins/Suggestions.htm
(the first method they mention is the most common)
That site sells supplies in the US, and this site does in the same in the UK:
http://www.insemination-help.com
Don't expect pregnancy straightaway. Some women get lucky in the first three
cycles, but it typically takes 4-8 cycles, and sometimes a lot longer.
Use an OPK (ovulation predictor kit) to decide when to inseminate. It's also
possible to test for ovulation by checking body basal temperature, cervical
mucus, and saliva, but most people find the OPK's easiest. It's better to
inseminate twice per cycle if possible, so think hard before donating or
using a donor if the travel time is more than an hour or two.
There are several useful links in the Links section of this group here:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/FreeSpermDonors/links
It is possible to ship sperm, but the success rate doesn't seem to be great.
The success stories are few and far between. Anyone that wants to try it
should see the shipping links in the Links section of this group.
There are some sample contracts in the links section, and another in the
Files section, but everyone should also see the discussion of the legal
implications of private donation in the Files section of the group.
Disputes over access or payment are not unknown.
Please note that the FSD does not support the use of prescription drugs except
when prescribed by licensed medical professionals.
Almost all prescription drugs have contraindications and can have serious
side-effects, and they should not be used or distributed without a prescription
from someone with the appropriate medical training. Sorry, but any member
found to be doing this, or to be offering unlicensed IUI will be banned.
These links may also be useful:
http://www.gayspermbank.com/ (the only sperm bank to tell the mother who
the donor is when the child is 3 months old.
Open to gay and hetero donors and recipients. )
http://www.fertilityplus.org/
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/
http://www.pinkparents.org.uk/ (UK-based)
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/ (UK-based)
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/ (UK-based)
http://www.apgl.asso.fr/ (France, French site for gay and lesbian parents - has several links )
http://www.spermaspender.de/ (Germany)
http://bam-mam.nl/ (Netherlands)
http://verlangennaareenkind.nl/ (Netherlands)
good luck! Moderator
